Over the centuries, it has become more and more difficult for us humans to think of ourselves as being a part of the animal kingdom. We like to think of our world as being so civilized, so logic-driven.
Somehow we’ve come to the conclusion that even our sexual instincts are driven by reason. A prime example of this is our using so many tools to follow fashion trends, as we think they’re what makes the opposite sex attracted to us.
Of course, though, we are still members of the animal kingdom. And our instinctual desires are actually still entirely driven by our primitive selves.
No matter what we put on to make ourselves sexually appealing – from brightly coloured pants to tattoos to fragrances to cosmetics – we really only succeed in making ourselves pop out of the crowd if we use the same devices our primitive ancestors used (regardless of whether they’re dressed up versions or not).
Really, we’ve just made the whole process of attracting a mate more confusing. Fashions, cosmetics, body art, etc. are all about emphasizing an individual features that have the best chance of appealing to any potential mate’s instinctual sexual desires. For this reason, not all styles look attractive on everyone; some accentuate parts of people’s bodies that are not their assets, and thus accentuating them may even prove to detract a potential mate.
Happily, though, being sexually attractive is achieved by attending to rather basic, universal principles. Our animal urges happen to be stimulated by the visual, audition (pertaining to how we move and how our voices sound), and olfactory senses.
And it’s really pretty simple to stimulate them. Just keep the following in mind as you read: if you got it, flaunt it; if you don’t, either fake it or draw attention away from it.
Understanding how to appeal to audition and olfactory senses is much easier than understanding how to appeal to the visual sense. In terms of the audition sense, it’s fairly common knowledge that a person can be seen as more or less attractive by the way in which he or she walks across a room or moves while dancing. In the same way, a person will be perceived as more or less attractive depending on how melodious or smooth his or her voice sounds – think of the difference between Fran Drescer’s voice and, well, just about any other actor’s.
As far as the olfactory sense is concerned, a person will be more attractive simply by maintaining good hygiene and taking preventative measures not to smell offensive, using tools such as deodorants and mouthwash. Beyond that, fragrances are widely used to appeal to the opposite sex.
Things become a little more complicated when we attempt to tantalize the visual senses. Generally speaking, the healthier a person appears, regardless of gender, the more attractive they’re perceived. This is why the most seemingly-attractive people possess a healthy weight, healthy-looking skin, lustrous hair, strong nails, etc. Luckily, health is an asset many of us can strive to attain, if we don’t already have it.
Besides health, though, the most visually-appealing traits across genders are associated with the sizes of different bodily features and shape, the grooming of body and facial hair, and how much of a mirror-symmetry is possessed by the individual.
Along these lines, women are meant to strive for more hourglass shapes, drawing a line of symmetry at the waist, often by means of cinching with waistlines or belts. And a woman is also considered more shapely if her breasts are parabolic and her buttocks is cardioid – achieving these shapes is often what makes certain bras or pairs of pants look flattering. As for making her face look more symmetrical, a woman is helped out with the application of cosmetics.
For men, women are generally more attracted to mates that are considered tall, or are (at least) taller than themselves. They’re also considered more “manly” when they possess traits such as bodily hair growth or muscle definition that need testosterone to be acquired. It is interesting to note as well, that women are more particular about men’s attire than men are about women’s.
So, whatever you’d like to believe about beauty being in the eye of the beholder, and however much you partake in today’s trends, just know that to find a mate, you need to appeal to his or her primitive instincts. Just know which approach will suit you the best before you go out and display a flappy tush in vinyl pants as see-through as a shower curtain.