One Kiss, Good Knight

In the Dark Ages, it was a common practice for knights to kiss one another before going into battle. The question arises: How dark were the dark ages if knights were going around kissing one another in a foreign land while their hot-to-go maidens were waiting alone back in the castle?

Thanks to Medieval scholar, Ernest Lee, PhD, Oxford, we have this artifact translated from the original early English between two knights on the battlefield of Turkey on the way to the Holy Land;

Sir Reginald: Ah, my good friend, Gwain, is it I see thee or but a shadow? War makes me weary thus.

Sir Gwain: My friend as well, Reginald, I see thee indeed. Tis no watery vision.

Sir Reginald: I see you have been to the Holy Land. What was it like?

Sir Gwain: I stabbed a bunch of people and have a saddlebag full of trophies. It was fun until my right arm was cut off.

Sir Reginald: Kiss me good luck, then, as I am on my way.

Sir Gwain: Okay, but if you tell anybody I’ll have to deny it.

Sir Reginald: Fair enough.

Sir Gwain: And no tongues!

cartoon by Josh Shayne